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10 Worst Things to Say to Someone Who Just Got Laid Off
Alice Handley and Tania Khadder
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You want to be supportive. You want to help them see the positive side of their misfortune. You want to buy them a drink. And you should! But please, tread carefully.
The time directly following a layoff is a delicate one. Your friend will want your help, but they may not be so receptive to your wise suggestions or burning questions. The fact of the matter is, being laid off sucks. Your comments come from a good place (of course!), but you might be surprised at how they are construed by someone whose wounds are still fresh from getting shown the door.
Here are 10 things you shouldn’t say to someone who has just been laid off.
Lucky
about 1 month ago
2 comments
it's a difficult position for the assistant manager... as a person she may feel sorry for this secretary
condition but she have a duty and rules to do that if the condition not running well in the office she may need the other person to do the job/secretary position.But the company must give the compensation for the secretary for healing the pain standard as insurance gift to the employer. plus personal added as friends.
valann54
2 months ago
14 comments
I had worked for this law firm for 15 years. I was a paralegal/legal secretary. I did not have a problem with anyone except the assistant manager. But I was not the only one. Not very many people liked this woman. I know how to play the game. I have been working for the last 37 years. I am not a youngster. I just think it is sad that ONE person can determine a person's livlihood. That is not right that someone can have that much power. Being an "at will" employee in California certainly has its disadvantages. I had mentioned earlier that I had breast cancer 10 years ago while working for this employer. I did not take weeks or several days off to have my treatments. I would take a day a month to have my treatments. I was loyal and devoted to this company. For the woman to lay someone off who has had medical problems in the past shows what type of person she is.
kelleyking
2 months ago
26 comments
I think I'm so sorry to hear this. What can I do to help" is wonderful. But do not make empty offers; offer legitimate assistance. Unemployment is a very serious matter in this economy and jobs are not quickly replaced. In my area on the news last night, they profiled a lady and her 16 y.o. son who lost their home and are now living on a 16-foot pleasure boat. I have two friends who are coming up on a year of unemployment. There are so few jobs in their areas that 200-300 people show up for one opening. They are resilient people but they have had a good support network from friends and family.
It is very important to focus on the mental as well as the financial aspects of unemployment. Just do nice things for the person. They may need help doing a resume because thy can't afford a service or their Internet has been shut off because they can't afford it. If they have kids or pets, offer to "sit" so they can have quiet time during the day to look for jobs on the computer, make calls or do telephone interviews. They may start feeling worn down -- look for beauty specials like "2 for 1 spa treatments" and invite the friend to partake. Even offering to drive someone to an interview or the unemployment office is a help because they don't have to spend what little they have on gas. Lunch, a drink or movie, can all cheer someone up, even if for just an hour. If they haven't interviewed in quite sometime, ask if they would like to "practice". (I realize the person offering needs their own money to afford some of these suggestions but pet or babysitting costs nothing and can really be helpful).
Regarding unemployment, I suggest that people apply immediately. You don't know how long it will take to get approved and people cannot afford to be without income for very long. (In my state, there was an article in the paper recently that we have "high rejection rates." A friend's former boss who fired her was allowed to appeal 8 times, changing the details of the termination, each time. A couple of times she even missed the conference calls. It got settled when the governor's office assigned my friend an advocate when we appealed for help, but it took many months. So, never assume it will be a simple process. You just don't know.
Letting the person know you are there and care about them, goes a long way.
neelamaniam
2 months ago
12 comments
True but only to a certain extend, being laid off is a result of an accumulated process.
For not to be laid off, you have to start your acting at the very early stage (when you newly join a company) ;-)
One main tips, never been in a bad books of anyone. You will never know what is the political influence of the other person in the office.
Best way,…always praise people, moreover you will not going to loose anything by doing so.
Remember when they are happy, they can make your life in the office happier.
Practice “Reverse Physiology”, it will help you to get your job done.
Good Luck People.
valann54
2 months ago
14 comments
Sometimes people are so upset, they forget about filing. Not a bad comment just looking after them to make sure they get some type of compensation.
valann54
2 months ago
14 comments
Yes, that happened to me. The only one laid off. The assistant manager was a bitch having an affair with one of the partners. Both are married. She hated me and eventually laid off other people also. I had had breast cancer in 1999 and she told people "I got what I deserved." Now the bitch is the manager of the law firm that laid me off. Now the firm is being sued. Ha.
valann54
2 months ago
14 comments
Temping is a good way to see if you like the company.
valann54
2 months ago
14 comments
I don't think that is too stupid to ask.
valann54
2 months ago
14 comments
Yeah, slept with the boss!
valann54
2 months ago
14 comments
Yes, wouldn't anyone be?
CT267
2 months ago
4 comments
This was the most perfect, realistic article I have ever read on being laid-off. I have been through all of them over and over again. I no longer feel alone. I have been told many times, "this should be your 'fun' time, explore, work on your dream job". That is completely unrealistic. For one thing, the depression, then you have to watch every penny, then you have to go, if you're lucky, to countless interviews on jobs that you would never even remotely consider when you were gainfully employed. Then the "you must have done something", I have also seen really good employees get laid-off. I recently heard someone who just got laid-off say, "Now I can use this time to concentrate on my dream job" Good luck with all that!! As the article states, we still have morgages, car payments, food & electric bills. Those who can persue that ultimate dream job have other revenue coming in and can afford to do that. In the real world its a lot tougher. Wonderful article!!! I'm printing it out and handing out copies.
toothfairy
2 months ago
46 comments
So, anyone have any suggestions on what TO say? We may be having to lay off 2 admins next week and I am not looking forward to it.
josedeluz
2 months ago
2 comments
Well, I think I have been through all 10 worst things not to say to someone who got laid off last year'. I used to think why pray tell do people say these things? I am so glad that these comments are all so inappropriate to say to anyone who has been laid off. I would like to forward the email to everyone who did, so they also know what not to say...Thank You.
daisytcam
2 months ago
2 comments
yep, i've had to deal with most of these at some pointor another. Worst one is when i keep getting asked by the same person "did you find a job yet?" like they are paying my bills or something. i know they mean well but it's just a constant reminder i don't need of how much time has passed since i have worked.
litlredsat
2 months ago
2 comments
Excellent suggestions!! My brother was laid off a few months ago, and although extremely qualified, is having a hard time finding permanent work. As well, my daughter just got laid off 2 wks ago after a yr. at her job (out of univ.), and a friend of mind was laid off for 9 months, and just finally landed a great job in her field, etc. I too am in a tough situation at work where layoffs are constant...and the co. will eventually close its doors. I was fortunate enough to be "acquired" by another co., but many of my friends werent. So these relate to a lot of peple in my life...and I appreciate your posting them...for us employed people, as well as (especially) for the unemployed!