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4 Things Not to Say to a New Mommy

4 Things Not to Say to a New Mommy

Jill Hare | AdminSecret

February 20, 2009

You can spot a new mom a mile away. She’s the one who looks tired, wearing mismatched clothes and pushing her baby still strapped into it’s car seat in a shopping cart or stroller. New moms wander around in public because they need to run an errand, or they just need to get out of the house. If one of your friends or co-workers is a new mom, tread lightly. New moms are highly hormonal creatures that can cry at anything and everything- but hopefully after you read this- it won’t be because of something you’ve said.

1. “Are you pregnant?”

After spending 9 months pregnant, you probably will want to scream if someone asks you this. When you return from maternity leave, your co-workers will know better than to ask you. But if you’ve got a new client or happen to be out without the baby, you’d be surprised how many people open their big mouths to draw attention to your not so shrunken-just-given-birth-belly. The baby weight does not come off as quickly as your summer tan. My word of advice on this since you can’t go everywhere with your baby- bring it up first. Luckily, if you have the baby with you, no one cares about your belly because they’re too busy cooing at the little one.

2. “Are you breastfeeding?”

The first time a stranger asked me this in the grocery store- kid you not- it was one of the most awkward moments since my braces phase. I was tongue-tied. Why would I want to discuss my breasts with a complete stranger? If I didn’t have a baby, I’m sure we wouldn’t have been chatting about my fun bags, so why do people think that’s okay when you’re a new mom? Ick. And be prepared, because with that question also comes the judgment depending on what your answer is. What I really wanted to tell this lady was, “Ew! I’m not talking to you about my boobs in front of the cashier, the bagger, and all of the other people in line!” But what I did say was, “Uh-huh,” and turned the other way and basically ran out of the store.

3. “How much weight did you gain?”

For some reason, misery loves company. If people were mad that you were in shape better than them before you were pregnant, they now relish that you’re sporting some new baby weight. This is a question that no one should ask even their closest of friends. So when someone asks me this now, I say, “I don’t know…how much weight have you gained this year?” Then I smile and laugh like I’m joking, but we all know I’m not. The subject seems to vanish and quickly as it arrived.

4. “Do you think you’ll keep working?”

I find this question almost the most offensive of all. If I didn’t quit my job before I had a baby, why would I all of a sudden quit now that I’m a mom?! Women can have a career and a family. There will be a transition period, but it’s not impossible.

If you are a new mom and someone has said one these things to you, you now have permission to laugh instead of cry. It’s over. You look fabulous…or will soon. And you have a beautiful, tiny creature that loves you unconditionally.


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